”Alpha Dog” by Fall Out Boy hits the speakers and the crowd launches into cheers for Florida’s Finest himself, Tommy Stone.
Emily: “Oh my god, is he here? Is he back already?"
Lance: “I don’t believe it! Two weeks ago we saw him get absolutely assaulted by Anthony Caffrey and Tommy Stone is here tonight!"
The man appears -- and begins getting booed by the at-capacity arena, because it’s not Tommy Stone, but the man himself, Anthony Caffrey, dressed in a fine, gray three-piece suit. He holds a severely damaged steel chair above his head as he walks down to “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant. There isn’t a single cheer in the arena.
Emily: “Damnit! That son of a bitch."
Lance: “Anthony Caffrey’s a wanted man after his actions at Redemption."
Caffrey steps into the ring and pulls out a microphone. He bangs his hand into it a few times as the crowd boos him loudly. The camera focuses on a “Why Caffrey Why” sign.
Caffrey goes to speak, but the crowd boos him loudly just as he is about to speak. He pulls back the microphone and nods, smiling a crooked, sinister smile. He cuts them off.
Caffrey: “BOO FUCKIN’ WHO! SHUT UP! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU DON’T LIKE ME! THIS IS NOT A FIVE HOUR SHOW, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, YA MORONS!"
The crowd boos for a little longer as Caffrey taps his foot and bangs the mic against the chair.
Caffrey: “Before I tell you people what the hell I really came out here to say, I gotta address the lockerroom and the stiffs in management because holy hell have I never seen such bigger fuckin’ crybabies in a lockerroom. WAAAHHHHH my feelings were hurt! Good God you soft tissuepaper-like litltle boys have become like the rest of this country, ya can’t take a single damn negative word said about you without runnin’ away and quittin’ and bitchin’ about how your life is HARD! WAHHHHH! That’s what everyone’s fuckin’ life is like, you geniuses! My life is easier than these people’s because I’m not some ugly ass bastard stuck in whatever pisshole city this is, but COME ONNNNNN!"
The crowd boos. Loudly.
Caffrey: “And another fuckin’ thing, let me make this real clear to you: I believe there are heroes out in this world, like firemen and cops. I am not one of them. I am not a hero. I am just a guy from Philadelphia with an obsession to be the best and a desire to fill an empty goddamn wallet. But you know what a hero is not? A hero is not some two-faced go-behind-your-back little bitch. That’s right, a little bitch, because let me tell you something: that’s not what a real man does. You know what a real man does? A real man walks straight up to you, looks you square in the eye, and tells you why you suck so that way you can wise the hell up and maybe stop being such a little shit, and then he punches you in the fucking TEETH if you keep it up! If you wanna defend that kind of behavior, that little-bitch behavior, PLEASE let me know, because I’m a grown-ass man, and I’m not here to make friends with you. I’m here for championships. I’m here for glory. I’m here for fame. I’m here to fill my goddamned empty wallet and meanwhile I gotta deal with people being two-faced gossips and people whining about their fucking feelings in the lockerroom while I’m trying to get changed? Is this a wrestling company or a fuckin’ middle school gym class? I’d expect this kind of behavior from the little shits out there going through puberty but not from grown-ass men. Grow up or get the hell outta my company. No money is coming outta my paycheck to pay for your fuckin’ diapers or to hire a babysitter for ya."
The “little shits” in the audience boo. Caffrey bangs the chair again.
Caffrey: “Now let’s talk about the man of two weeks ago. Thomas, if you’re watching from the hospital room I put your ass in, I recommend you to lean over the rail of your bed, grab the remote, and turn up the volume, because I’m not repeating this shit to you. Turn the volume up and listen."
Caffrey mimes grabbing a remote and turning the volume up.
Caffrey: “I did you a huge favor, and all I want from you the next time I see you, whether that’s two months from now, two years from now, whenever I’m inducted into the first class of the BFW Hall of Fame, is a simple thank you."
Caffrey smiles again. The crowd boos.
Emily: “A favor? He damn near crippled Tommy Stone!"
Caffrey: “Everytime you’ve opened your mouth lately, you’ve said it. Eight years. Eight of them. I know this weighs on you because you talk about it so much. Your eyes are pinned so far backward, you haven’t been able to see the present. In eight years, I’ve become a multi-time World Champion, king of nearly every company I’ve been in, a bona-fide star, hell, I’M THE FACE they put on the billboards, and you...you’re watching from the hospital bed I put you in."
Caffrey runs his hands through his hair.
Caffrey: “Show after show, I watched you open your mouth as you berated the newest dipshit of the week in an attempt to establish yourself as a big tough guy and then I watched you come out into the ring and prove that in eight years, sure you’ve learned some new moves, gotten older, changed your appearance and your name, but you’re still the same shitty wrestler that still makes the same stupid mistakes, losing the big time matches, the easy matches...Tom I really let it go for a while. I really did. I put it in the back of my mind, knew that I’d have to deal with you eventually, but I accepted your obsession with the days of old in the face of mediocrity, because I couldn’t imagine living in a world that constantly tells me that I suck and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I really let it go...and then you made the biggest mistake of your wrestling career."
Caffrey looks down and licks his lips.
Caffrey: “You got in my way”.
The crowd boos loudly as Caffrey spits on the mat.
Caffrey: “My agent -- me -- just restructured my contract the night before Redemption. I sat in Adler’s office and collected the bonuses that I had argued for when I came into this company as a broke-ass man, I had backed up my words when I told him that first day that I would become World Champion, because unlike these people I actually follow through on my words and -- big surprise here -- have talent. And while I sat there, I told that old sonofabitch -- whoops, there goes more money -- that there wasn’t anything for me to do while I waited outside the World title picture. He tells me that I can have myself a big fat bonus if I can become BFW’s first Triple Crown champion. Carnage, World, and Tag Team championships. And you know, I take a look at this bonus and it’s not what I want, it’s what I need. Blood, sweat and tears will get you lots of places in this ring, but outside of it, it’s ass-kissing and green, and my ass-kissing days are long over. So I sign. I’m ready for my match. And then you come down that ramp. Fine. And then...and then YOU TOOK MY FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP AND YOU TOOK MONEY OUT OF MY FUCKIN’ WALLET! THAT WAS MINE! NOT YOURS, YA DUMB SONOFABITCH! I NEED THIS! I HATE ADMITTING THIS IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DUMB FUCKIN’ PEOPLE BUT I NEED THIS! DO YOU NEED IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON’T!"
Caffrey snaps out. He pulls hard on his hair as his eyes light up.
Caffrey: “SO I TOOK THIS CHAIR, AND I HIT YOU WITH IT, AND HIT YOU WITH IT! I AIMED AT YOUR SHITTY KNEE HOPING YOU’D NEVER WALK AGAIN! I TRIED TO CONCUSS YOU WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT! I AIMED AT YOUR NECK AND YOU’RE AN AWFULLY LUCKY SONOFABITCH BECAUSE I SOMEHOW DIDN’T PARALYZE YOU! FOR EIGHT YEARS YOU’VE THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE ME AND I HOPE AFTER REDEMPTION MAYBE, MAYBE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER GOD IN THE SKY YOU PRAY TO, YOU FINALLY FUCKIN’ LEARNED THAT I AM MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN YOU! THAT’S CALLED ‘TOUGH LOVE’, YA STUPID, STUPID SONOFABITCH!"
Caffrey takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He regains his composure. He breathes again.
Caffrey: “I taught you the lesson, and I hope you finally learned it, but that’s not why I want your thanks, Tom. I want your thanks because I’m pretty sure that I’ve just ended your wrestling career. You see, for eight years you walked down to this ramp and for eight years you were absolutely mediocre, but you could never admit it to yourself. You could never admit that you didn’t have this fire, this passion for this business. You were too soft. I’ve seen you collect plenty of paychecks over the years but you could never even bring yourself to even think about retiring. It was getting to be too much, Tom. There’s a book that I absolutely love with every fiber of my being called ‘Of Mice and Men’ by John Steinbeck. In that book, George and Lennie go around from town to town and pick up work as farmhands, and by the end of the book, it becomes clear that they’re doomed to either do this forever or just...die, because Lennie is a big strong oaf and they have to keep moving because Lennie’s strength keeps getting him in serious trouble wherever they travel, and Lennie is completely unaware that his unhuman strength is ruining his and George’s life. At the end of the book, to save Lennie from a painful death at the hands of an angry mob, or from doing the same thing over and over for the rest of his working days, well...Lennie has hope for the future in his eyes as he asks George to tell him about the rabbits, a symbol for those two things, for that hope, for that future...and George shoots him in the back of the head, execution style, killing him painlessly, so he doesn’t have to suffer anymore."
Caffrey: “You’re the Lennie to my George, Tom. For eight fuckin’ years I have watched you be mediocre, I have watched you travel from town to town, city to city, doing the same stupid things, being the same ‘meh’ wrestler, and honestly I hate you so much and will until the day they put me in the ground, but it absolutely breaks my heart to see a man that bad simply not know it and live in such constant, day-in, day-out mediocrity. It breaks my heart to hear you talking to people about how you just needed ‘one shot’ to prove that you were legit, that you were a maineventer, that you were a star, the same kinda shit that you said eight years ago. You were none of these things, Tom, and you’d never be one of those things, Tom. You just weren’t, and aren’t going to be. I get asked a lot about you, Tom. People ask me if we’re ever gonna fight again, if I could take you, who’s better, was it the same way when we were younger, and for eight years...I’ve known the answers...qne I’m not sure you ever did. Our lives have crossed and intertwined themselves, Tom, and not only was I not about to allow you to steal my championship, steal my fucking bread from me, but I also was not about to watch you spend the next five years doing the same thing fucking over and over again, be this mediocre until they put you in the ground yourself. So I...I ended your career with this chair. I’m sorry it wasn’t painless -- the opportunity for this decision to be painless passed when you tried to drag me down into mediocrity with you, when you stole from me -- but it was the right thing to do."
Caffrey shakes his head and looks down as the crowd boos. He looks back up.
Caffrey: “When you come to that realization, which should be soon if it hasn’t already happened, that realization that I’m right about all of this...then after that I want that thank you. I’ll be waiting, but until then...I’m expecting the BFW to strip you of your championship. There’s no way, there’s just no way you can compete, let alone defend the championship, after what I did to you two weeks ago. I’ll then beat whatever noname fuck they throw in front of me, and I’ll be one step closer to that fat bonus, and I’ll be champion again, and all will be right with the world. To whatever noname it happens to be...if you’re listening to this, and you happen to get the chance to fight me, do yourself a favor and go watch the tape of what I did to Tom at Redemption, and then lay down when the bell rings and the match is on. Because the fact of the matter is...what I did to Tommy, that was an act of mercy, an act of kindness, because as much as I hate the guy, I care about him. I’ll leave you with this thought: with all that in mind, thinking about how I handle my acts of mercy, how I take care of the people I care about...do you really dare to try to steal from me? You saw what happened to Tom...what the hell do you think is going to happen to you, some noname fuck that I don’t give a shit about?"
Caffrey sets down the microphone as the crowd boos him loudly. He carries the dented chair with him as he walks to the back, ignoring the boos, with his head up. He has that cocky, sinister smile as he disappears behind the curtain.
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Mon Jun 20, 2016 6:21 pm