From The Ashes review

https://brutalforcewrestling.rpg-board.net/t702-from-the-ashes-open-to-sybyl 

Tell me what I can improve on.

To be honest, there's not a lot of negative things to talk about. The only issues I saw were grammatical or spelling errors, or using what is perhaps the wrong or an unnecessary word, but nothing too severe.

Examples include:
"a-blaze" should be "ablaze".
"ER room", the R means room. It may be how you say it, don't know, but to me it's strange to read.
"I was in the damn ER room when the fire broke out, had it not been for my homeboy Tokyo giving me the 411 before it reached too far, I may have been a burnt motherfucker". It really needed a full stop after broke out, and the next part being its own sentence.

All in all, another good, solid piece from a very consistent roleplayer. Helped by working with another guy who is generally very consistent and has a proven ability, too.

Just one thing I noticed, and i decided to ignore since we were running out of time

Maybe it was my fault, I didn't make it clear enough but Sybyl almost immediatly dropped the piece of paper he picked up, because that wasn't the reason he was there. 
Anyways, Tommy tried to snatch it from his hand later on.
Since we were already close to the deadline, I decided to act if Sybyl still had it, and I gave it back to you. 

I noticed now that I made some mistake too. I take this chance to apologize if you  notice some "t" missing in my rps, but that key is busted on my laptop, and sometimes, I might fail to notice and correct it